Are you ready to FACE YOU?
I am sure everyone has some relationship issues at one time or another. Some of us will settle to be in a bad relationship, while others choose to improve things or dig deep into their lives and make some big decisions.
Before you do anything, before you make any decisions, before you act, you need to understand what is really going on. Many, so called “experts”, offer different step by step guides how to deal with certain issues or people who try to control or manipulate. The truth is that these steps usually work when you are in sync with yourself, when you truly acknowledge the situation, know what you want, and accept yourself.
Let’s take a look at the controlling or manipulative relationships. Often the person who’s being controlled stays in the relationship because she or he is scared that they will not be able to make it without that relationship, that their life can be worse or that others may suffer if they choose what they really want, i.e. “out”. If you are one of these people, the reality is that you are simply not ready to face the situation or accept and face you (yes, YOU), and dig really deep. We have to start with ourselves first. You may deny the truth to others, but you really need to be honest with yourself. If you’re not honest with yourself, whatever you do will only make things worse. If you are in a bad relationship or simply are not happy with one, you need to understand why, what you really want, what you are not getting, etc. , and most importantly, what you are ready to do about it.
I have not believed in this for a long time, but when you start loving and accepting yourself, you start seeing people and situations in a different light. Then you are able to correctly evaluate the situations and realize who you really are and what you really want, what is working and what is not. Then you can tell the truth (at least to yourself) about what you really want for yourself, this does change your perspective and it does start changing your life. You simply accept yourself, and then you know (without anyone telling) what is best for you and what you need to do. I am not saying it is easy, but it is definitely achievable. No one and nothing can persuade you in anything until you give the permission to do so, until you allow someone else to make a decision for you.
I want you to understand one thing though. No matter how good or bad a relationship is, there must be something each person is gaining from staying in it. If you are in a bad relationship, I promise you, you will not do anything and make excuses until you can clearly see that you can actually be better off without that relationship. This is the golden truth.
In the end, start with small steps. A small step towards self-discovery will eventually help you see the bigger picture.
with love,
Renata