Resilience & Growth


HOW TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES. All about life and work Choices. Why choose


Choices. Choices. Choices. Why do we choose what we choose?

many_magazinesYou have no idea how many times I have heard things like oh, I was forced to do this or that, it was not up to me, you just don’t understand I had no choice, etc. All I can say is that these statements are just BS because this is really not true; it is easier to believe that there is no other choice or another way. If you start analyzing your choices, you will quickly realize how fast you will start looking for explanations, or I’d rather often call them ‘excuses’, why you chose one thing or over another or made a decision about something. You will also see that you always have at least two options and you choose the one that is easier on you or based on your preferences and habits, the right choice (just not clear for who), or you’d just pick one randomly.

You make choices hundreds times a day… a cup of coffee over a cup of tea, to go to a store, which brand or what quantity of milk to buy, meat over fish or vs., which route to take to work, to stop at a yellow light or keep going, what house to buy, or maybe to buy a town home over a house, what car to buy, who to go to lunch with, to tell the truth or to hide things, who to talk to when you feel down or maybe just have an alone time, who to date or who to live with, whose side to take, to hurt someone or not, to be genuine, etc.

No matter what it is, it is always your choice. Nothing and no one can make you choose, only you.

No one is usually holding a gun against your head and making you choose; well, I could agree that there can be certain circumstances when someone could hold a gun, but then again, you’d make a choice to surrender or flight. Similarly, when you make a crime and you’re put in jail, you may say that you’re forced to go to jail, but again, this is already a consequence of your previous choices – to commit a crime or not.

Often people are not happy about the decisions or choices they make, but they do not changing anything. Wonder why? The answer is simple. It is easier this way.

It is like a choice to be happy; it is easier to be miserable or angry than work on yourself, clear yourself and eliminate negativity. However, often you do not realize that it takes about the same amount of energy to stay miserable or be happy. Which one you think is easier – to tell the truth and sometimes face the consequences or to lie? I say – to lie. People make tons of excuses why they lie such as they don’t want to hurt another person, maybe they would not otherwise get a job or get approved for a car loan because they are not as qualified as they said, the life may get more difficult and less predictable, or maybe they simply don’t have guts to tell the truth.

When you are not happy with the decisions you make, always look for real reasons. If you choose to stay in the situation that you do not like, there MUST be something that is working for you in that situation, otherwise, you’d be long gone. Let’s say you try a new food, you put it into mouth and the taste is sooo awful that you’re about to puke. What do you do? My guess is that you spit it out. If it tasted OK, there is a chance that you will finish the bite.

many road signsSo here you go,when you think the situation does not work for you (e.g. bad tasting food), you eliminate yourself from that situation and make a different choice. However, when there is something that works for you even in a not so favorable situation, you may choose to stay in it.

Finally, sometimes you make certain decisions because you are not aware of the alternatives; you simply may not be able to see other possible options at that particular moment in time. This is usually caused by lack of knowledge, being too close to a situation, not willing to explore or laziness, or it can be caused by your fear that can blind you from seeing the different possibilities. Just remember, it is always up to you to look for better decisions or choices, and if you cannot find them within you, look outside – learn things, expand your knowledge, talk to people, see how others dealing with similar situations, etc.

So what about you? What choices do you make? Do you blame other people or circumstances for making the choices that you are not very happy about? Do you usually choose an easier route?

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